City Girl Confessions: All The Ways to Warm Up

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City Girl Confessions is my recurring column published via The Glencoe Anchor

I still haven’t fully defrosted from the Polar Vortex. Perhaps I won’t until the first flower of Spring blooms. That would be fine because the way I see it, if we are stuck in the thick of winter, we simply must adapt. We must identify warmth and cling to it. It’s not an impossible feat. I’ve narrowed down some great spots in town that are perfect for raising your temp and soothing your chill. 

Firstly, let it be known that I can find any excuse to get myself to the Glencoe Public Library, but in winter months, I covet this space because of the Johnson room and it’s wondrous fireplace. This, combined with scenic views of the downtown spread, make it one of the ideal places to curl up with a book and settle in for a long stretch of warmth. 

If fireplaces are your thing, I’ve got another option for you. In departing the library, walk across the street and make your way into Meg’s Cafe. Their fireplace is lovely, their service attentive, and their Soup of the Day is not to be missed. 

I often find the the chill of winter hits me hardest first thing in the morning. There is nothing fun about waking in the dark and dragging oneself out of a warm bed. I soothe my chilly bones with a 6am Warm Vinyasa Flow class at Reach Yoga. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings, the studio is heated to a delightful 80 degrees. Even in the midst of a Polar Vortex, I have found my way to Reach to stretch and move on my mat, all the while imagining that I’m on a tropical vacation. Rest assured that in these colder temps, Reach also cranks the heat for its regular classes to keep yogis comfortable.

In 2019, I learned that I have been dressing for winter all wrong. Apparently, it is most beneficial to dress in three layers rather than one bulky sweater. To get my layer fix, I enjoy pursuing the racks at Three Twelve Tudor, which offers plentiful long t-shirts, super soft sweaters, cozy cardigans, and knit scarves. Owner Amy Bishop is kind, resourceful, and always game to help you find exactly what you’re looking for. 

Winter is a great time to really maximize slipper usage. Valentina has offerings for any adult, from a simple pair of thick UGG brand socks to a sherpa-lined moccasin.

Still seeking warmth? Don’t forget about the cozy kid blankets for sale at The Wild Child, ‘The Club’ bagel melt at Hometown Coffee, and the robust candle display at Blacksheep General Store. 

I’ll confess, February is a tough month to endure in the Midwest. We must soldier through tougher temps to come out the other side. But the cold is what makes us resilient. To live in the Midwest is know multitudes of weather and savor the emotions that come with it. 

As you seek ways to keep warm this season, don’t forget to check on your neighbors and friends, particularly those who live alone. The warmth of friendship is wildly comforting and can sustain us when we need it most. 

Convos With Writers: 11 Questions with Brittany Drehobl

You guys, get ready for me to throw the book at you, because Convos with Writers is back and my new interviewee will basically convince you that the hottest club in town is your local library and you will need to HIT IT UP TODAY.

She’s a marathoner with a master degree.
A Cubs fan who also resides in the Holy Land (Wrigleyville)
A Slytherin / Feminist / Activist triple threat
She is…my favorite pink-haired librarian, Brittany Drehobl.

Let’s stop the book-throwing and start the book-talking. Onward!

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1. What do you write and what are you reading?

I honestly write whatever comes to me, and lately that’s been a blog recapping my Chicago Marathon and training way back in 2014 that never transitioned into anything else, some private hand journaling, some well-intentioned Tweeting, a few quarter-finished Young Adult novels, and approximately the 17th round of edits on a picture book featuring my dog, Mac.
Continue reading “Convos With Writers: 11 Questions with Brittany Drehobl”

Convos with Writers: 11 Questions with Wendy Altschuler

Imagine surfing in El Salvador
Kayaking in Big Sky, Montana
Strolling atop the Burj Khalifa in Dubai
Wandering the markets of Hong Kong
Traversing a glacier in Iceland
Practicing yoga in Mexico

Now imagine that you’re paid to do this. More specifically, paid to write about it.

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Such is the life of travel writer and world adventurer Wendy Altschuler. She’s vibrant, zestful, and stunningly beautiful inside and out. Simply put, Wendy’s the kind of luminous go-getter that will inspire you to grab a bag and run into life’s next big moment. But more so she will passionately convey the notion of being a good person, exuding confidence, and throwing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Also have you ever seen a cooler photo than this?

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Yeah, that’s what I thought. Let’s get chatting!

1. What do you write and what are you reading?
The anomalous thing is that, even though I’m a travel and lifestyle writer, writing is not my passion. My passion is learning about other folks’ passions—exploring the “how” and “why”. For me, writing is a means to an end. I get the biggest rush out of discovering the behind-the-scenes story of how a woman owned and operated bakery came into fruition after years of setbacks; or why a cubicle-tied, working professional decided to leave a hard-earned career to start a surfing retreat for solo travelers; or why a grandmother decides to skydive over 1,500 times, even after friends died practicing the sport; or why a master sommelier decided to write an entire book on one specific, tiny region in Argentina that makes Malbec wines.
When I was younger I felt sort of sorrowful that I could never be an expert of many things and that really knowing how to do something well takes a lot of time and energy. So, I’ve found great happiness in a career that allows me to see slices of life, cut from many amazing—and diverse—human beings, that have done the hard work, made the effort and took risks to live out loud and declare, “Why not me?” I have the amazing opportunity to learn from, and be inspired by, story-worthy mavens with all sorts of dreamy backgrounds and know-how.
I’m glad you also asked what I’m reading because I truly think you can’t be a great writer without also being a fervent reader. I get really excited about books, which leads to reading multiple titles at the same time.
Anyway, currently, I’m reading “Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life” by William Finnegan; Ronda Rousey’s “My Fight Your Fight”; Amy Schumer’s “The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo” and, because hiking the Appalachian Trail on a thru-hike with my boys is on my bucket list, Bill Bryson’s “A Walk in the Woods.”

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2. Your Instagram account is a dreamy lens into our world’s landscape. Tell me about a place that took your breath away.
In 2016 I visited seven countries (including Mexico three times) and each experience was, of course, incredible and offered an inimitable experience. I was the most surprised by Hong Kong, however, because I knew, or thought I knew, so much about it prior to visiting and my expectations didn’t align with the actual experience. After all, isn’t this why we travel—to be blown away, to see the world through a kaleidoscope lens, to learn a new truth? I loved how accessible nature was and how, even though the population swells to well over seven million people, it’s easy to find peace and beauty within the urban landscape. The food was incredible, the street markets were insane and detonating with life, and it was super easy to get around—the public transportation was clean, efficient and wicked fast.

3. What does a travel writer’s schedule look like- and is it really that glamorous?!
I always say, the writing is the easy part. The challenge, the meat of it all, is all of the hard work that goes into what happens before and after something gets published—pitch letters, interviews, building relationships with PR/Media companies, fielding a ridiculous amount of press releases and e-mails, following up and keeping everything (and everyone) straight, constant promotion and social media campaigning, freelance reimbursement record keeping, etc. It’s a lot. And, because I’m often working on multiple projects at once, that are in various stages of development, I have to be well-organized and have a clear picture of the process from beginning to end.

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4. To write is to know rejection well. What can you share about being rejected?
Often we take rejection so personally, and how can we not when we’re invested in something? What I’ve learned is that—assuming you’ve done your homework, and have done your best to direct your concepts to the appropriate objectives—rejection rarely has anything to do with you, your talent or your ideas and it usually has everything to do with what is needed at the moment or with what a publisher/editor has envisioned. I’ve also learned that if you raise your hand, put your heart-felt aspirations out there, and live with an ethos dependent on integrity, the universe will provide—in spades.

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5. What locations should everyone have on their bucket lists?
I think that everyone should visit somewhere, anywhere, alone—at least once. When you travel solo you’re much more aware of your surroundings, you’re more willing to make eye contact and talk to locals, you really appreciate your loved ones back at home and you leave the experience with a certain confidence and trust in yourself that you didn’t have before.

6. Who do you love and how does that sneak into your writing?

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When I became a mom 10 *cough* years ago, I became very aware of how I was influencing my boys (I have three adorable feral creatures). I want them to see me as someone that’s gritty and brave, someone that doesn’t shy away from experiences that are petrifying (hello, skydiving, trapeze, skiing after injury, roller derby, urban rappelling, solo travel, running half marathons…) and these adventures are all ones that I write about and often bring my boys along to witness or experience themselves. I also adore my husband, Scott, a man I’ve known exactly half of my life. I use him as a sounding board for my ideas and he’s the one that pushes me to follow through. Scott is my living journal and the one that will remember our intertwined life through a different perspective, which makes me incredibly lucky.

7. It’s a tradition in this series to talk about sex (more specifically writing about it). What can you share?
I once contributed to Parents magazine on how sexy I felt in my body when I was pregnant—well, at least that’s how I felt the first time when everything was newfangled. I loved how my shape morphed and matured and I was able to let all of my body insecurities go—that reckless noise that so many women allow to grow loud. I felt comfortable in my skin. Turns out, being confident and loving the skin you’re in is super sexy to your partner as well! Now, that’s a good recipe for searing sex.

8. Biggest, wildest dream for yourself?
Jim Carrey gave a commencement speech a few years ago that really stuck with me because he said, “I did something that makes people present their best selves to me wherever I go.” Wouldn’t it be amazing if you chose a path in life that inevitably brought others delight and happiness, so much so that you are constantly met with respect, kindness and love? It’s selfish really, but the result of making others feel good is that you too feel good. My wildest dream for myself: be an agent of joy.

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9. If someone wants to be a travel writer, how should they get started?
Travel. Write. Read. Repeat. If you want to be a writer, of any kind, write. Eventually, one clip will lead to a bigger clip, which will lead to bigger clips. Also, read the kind of stuff you want to be writing and surround yourself with other writers and creatives.

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10. When were you most proud?
I think I was the proudest when I realized that I could do big things and have the kind of life that everyone deserves—one full of love, adventure, friendship, success and happiness. I was raised in an exceptionally poor family that deeply struggled in heartbreaking ways and, because I didn’t have a safety net or support of any kind, I had to claw my way out of that story and be an advocate for myself. I had to go after things with a scrappy “fake it till you make it” sort of methodology because, even though I believed I would probably fail, I couldn’t leave anything on the table or to chance. There’s great power in being completely responsible for your own happiness, your own life, and not displacing sadness, fear or anger onto the cards you were dealt or onto someone else. Also, misery loves company but that doesn’t mean you have to visit.

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11. Tell me a story about a story
After sweating it out on the tarmac for hours, waiting for Chicago to get its weather act together, (our plane) finally took off; circled Chicago, circled Detroit, and then *groan* turned around and headed right back to Toronto. I sat on that plane for six hours, thus missing my next flight to Finland.
By the time I learned the Chicago flight was cancelled and I’d be stuck in Toronto for two-TWO-days, it was 1:00 a.m. and there were zero hotels with a room available. This unpredictable travel adventure has taught me some great lessons:
1. When someone says they can’t help you and that X is all they can do, ask someone else…keep asking.
2. Someone always has it worse! There were several babies and children on the plane, elderly and folks that didn’t clearly understand French or English.
3. When you’re in the millionth line the next day, with a horrible headache, and you’ve just slept in a hard chair at the airport, it’s ok to hop the long line and go through first if an agent is waving you up—w/o Priority status—for your rebooking. (Lesson: you don’t know what every traveler went through, you’re not being slighted and the person might have a legitimate reason for cutting-they may not have carelessly slept in or possessed poor time management, like I’ve thought before.)
4. An act of kindness or a friendly face can go a long way—the adorable and funny ticket agent actually made me tear up when she joked with me, after a long day of frustration and disappointment.
5. Pack light-possessions are an extreme burden when you’re an airport nomad.
6. Invest in PacSafe RDIF gear so if you do pass out, your stuff is safe and you won’t get your identity swiped/stolen.
7. Always pack protein snacks and a refillable water bottle.
8. Appreciate the people in your life that will talk you off the ledge, keep you company over the phone so you’re not lonely, and work it out with you, even at 1 a.m. (Thank you, Scott Altschuler, I love you!)
9. Keep your contact case/solution, hand lotion, Chapstick, a shawl or snugly sweater and wet wipes (for emergency “showers”) in your carry on.
10. All in all, take flight cancellations/changes in stride; be patient; do all that you can, as quickly as you can; communicate with people that were depending on you to make your flight or connection and try not to worry about what you have zero control over.

Many thanks to Wendy for her worldly candor and cogent advice for those writing and hoping to travel-and-write. Here’s a little link love:

Salivate over Wendy’s Instagram account
Check out her website for clips/bio

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(as you fan yourself with wanderlust, peep these bonus points)

Wendy’s secret tip for packing:
Figure out what you want to pack and then leave 25% of it home. I also pack some clothes that I intend on donating or trashing, which leaves room in my suitcase for souvenirs.

Her best airport meal:
One that involves a glass of wine or salty margarita.

Go out and explore, friends. Write it all down.

***As part of this series, writers are asked to submit photos capturing who they are as well as a glimpse of his/her writer life.

***Know someone that would be a great fit for 11 Questions? Nominate them or yourself: KellyQBooks (@) gmail (dot) com

Convos With Writers: 11 Questions With Susan Blumberg-Kason

Susan Blumberg-Kason is fascinating. There, I said it. She’s the kind of woman who has worldly dreams, a zest for adventure, and a degree in Mandarin. In her early twenties, she headed to Hong Kong for grad school. Just one month into the program, she met a tall, dashing student from central China, and six months later they married. Her memoir, Good Chinese Wife, covers the five years in which she struggled to assimilate to Chinese family life.

Shall we do this? Yes, let’s.

1. What do you write and what are you reading?
I write mostly non-fiction about my past life as an expat in Hong Kong and my current incarnation as a mother of three in the Chicago suburbs and how I’m trying to expose my kids to Chinese culture. My oldest son is half-Chinese and if I didn’t make an effort, he wouldn’t have any connection to that side of his heritage. Right now I’m reading Shannon Young’s new page-turning novel, Ferry Tale, which is a love story set in Hong Kong. I was just reading it before I started answering these questions!

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2. Your stories are deeply, profoundly personal: divorce, STDs, abuse, the strain of culture assimilation, etc.. How do you share freely about real life difficulties without upsetting those around you (is such a thing possible?!)?
I’ve found that the best way to be honest and open is to try to take the blame away from others as much as possible and focus on my role in the problems. In my memoir, Good Chinese Wife, I could’ve made my character a very angry one who blamed all my marital problems on my ex-husband. Instead, I tried to show how I put up with that nonsense and let a lot of it happen. Everyone says there are two sides to every story, but I think there are an infinite number of sides. It all depends on how they are presented. When I’ve read reviews, which I know I shouldn’t do, readers have been more upset with me for putting up with Cai’s antics than with Cai for doing those things. I can live with that!

3. Name three books that changed the game for you
Adeline Yen Mah’s Falling Leaves inspired me, as did Rachel DeWoskin’s Foreign Babes in Beijing and Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club. If it weren’t for these three books, I might not have seen a book in my story.

4. Best ‘pinch me’ moment about becoming an author

My book launch at Sandmeyer’s Bookstore in Chicago. It was the night of my publication date and I needed to guarantee 30 attendees for the store to agree to hold the event. They don’t do a ton of author events and wanted to make sure it would be worth their while to stay open late. I told them I could get 30 people, and mentally went through a list of people who would probably turn up. It was just 30. But the night of the event, I counted 80 people and I knew probably all but one or two, either from a chapter in my life or through social media. It was lovely seeing all those friends that evening.

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5. What’s the wildest, craziest, most impractical writing goal you have for yourself?
Publishing more books! I’ve been trying to get a second book published and it’s no easier than getting a deal for the first one. If anything, it’s more difficult. If I can look back in ten or fifteen years and see two or three of my books on the shelves, it will be a dream come true.

6. Tell me about writing sex scenes
I’ve always thought a single, catchy line is more effective than the actual deed. Like in Crazy Rich Asians—one of my favorite novels—there’s a scene where Michael Teo is feeling left out of his marriage and his wife finds a text on his phone with one line: “I want to feel you inside me” or something like that. I thought that was way more sexy and memorable than actually reading about whatever Michael may or may not have done.
The first sex scene in my memoir took place in my in-laws’ apartment in freezing central China. I couldn’t think about taking off any clothes because there was no heat in the apartment. That’s not very sexy. So I started that scene with the issue of birth control when my then-fiance clandestinely jumps into bed with me. His parents are sleeping in the next room and he’s supposed to be in another bedroom because we’re not married. I create dialogue around preventing a pregnancy and have him say he’ll pull out early. He really did say that, and I chose to use that line because I thought it would make the scene more vivid and realistic rather than describing what happened play by play, although I do use metaphors like rain and clouds (the Chinese euphemism for sex) and sprinkles in a dry desert.

7. Who do you love and how does that sneak into your writing?
My husband and children. So I added them into the epilogue of Good Chinese Wife, although my oldest son, Jake, was in more of the book. I also included my mother as one of the main characters, because she was in that part of my life and still is. I’m working on a follow-up memoir about raising my kids with Judaism and Chinese Culture and my husband and children figure very prominently in this manuscript.

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8. The cover art for Good Chinese Wife is stunning (see it here). Tell me about it.
This was one of the most exciting parts of publishing the book. A year before my publication date, my editor at Sourcebooks e-mailed me a cover concept. It was more or less what ended up being printed, apart from the subtitle. It was love at first site and I thought it was so me. My family had that china pattern when I was growing up and I love tea, but my editor said the key to that concept was that it showed that everything was in order in my marriage but at any moment could fall over and shatter. I still love this cover as much as I did the first time I saw it.

9. What happens when you stumble upon a negative review?

At first it upset me, which is natural. All authors receive negative reviews. The thing about getting a negative review for a memoir is that it’s often personal. Some reviewers haven’t liked my writing, but most of the negative reviews have been about my character. My book has been out for 18 months now and I’m at a point where I laugh at negative reviews. A recent one on Amazon stated that the reviewer hated my book and hated me. I felt like reaching out and patting her on the back (if I could), concerned that she was so upset. In the end, an Amazon review is an Amazon review and I’m happy with the number of reviews I’ve received. If some are one or two stars, so be it.

10. Best writing habits to live by
I take advantage of quiet days when my kids are at school and try not to schedule other things during a day when I want to get a lot of writing done. In reality, I do a lot of it at night after the kids go to bed. The house isn’t perfectly quiet then because my husband and older son are around, but they are either reading, doing homework, or watching TV at a decent volume.

11. Tell me a story about a story
(My book) is about my marriage to my former husband. We’ve been on good terms for the last 16 years, ever since I left him in early 2000. But I only recently saw him for the first time since the book came out and it was on his turf in Shanghai, where he lives now with his new wife of 10 years.
So Cai and his wife took my mom, our friend Mary, and me out for lunch when we were in Shanghai this past fall. I was relieved I wasn’t alone with them because they knew about the book, but hadn’t said anything to me about it since a Wall Street Journal writer interviewed them. I figured if I were around other people, Cai and his wife wouldn’t bring it up. But after lunch, (everyone) had walked up ahead and Cai told me with a serious face that he had something to discuss with me. My heart skipped several beats. This was it. He was going to chastise me for writing all those personal details about our marriage.
Only he didn’t. He told me about his daughter and how she wouldn’t talk to him. The gist of his story was that he was glad I hadn’t turned Jake against him like he thinks his first ex-wife did with their daughter. In the back of my mind, I knew I had probably done worse by writing the book, but didn’t mention that. To this day, I don’t know what he thinks about the book, but he and his wife were perfectly nice to me in Shanghai last fall and if they’re upset about it, they haven’t shown it!

Bonus Points: Susan’s nightstand is an avalanche of books that she reads to her kids, including the Harry Potter series and a photo book of Hong Kong neon signs that she read months ago and never put away. Her best bet for incredible Chinese food in Chicago is at Shanghai Terrace at the Peninsula Hotel. “The food is very fresh and great care is taken in the presentation. For one of Jake’s birthdays, we went there for Peking duck. It was served in slices on little pancakes, in a duck wonton soup, and in duck fried rice. The whole thing was a masterpiece.”

Dive into Susan’s blog and life here, purchase her incredible book here, and follow her on Twitter @Susan_BK.

OH! And I saved the best for last. If you belong to a book club and would like to read Good Chinese Wife and have Susan join your discussion (in person or via Skype!) contact her here (seriously, how freaking cool is that?).

***As part of this series, writers are asked to submit photos capturing who they are as well as a glimpse of his/her writer life. The photos above include the author with her mother in Hong Kong 20 years ago, with author Sonali Dev, and with her kids in Chicago. I thank Susan for sharing so candidly and shining a truly luminous light on some tough-to-talk-about topics.