Home Alone: The joke you may have missed

“That’ll be $122.50.”

“Ugh…it’s my brother’s house. He’ll take care of it.”


It’s that time of year when holiday movies are on heavy rotation, and up there with the absolute best of them is Home Alone (save me a slice plain cheese).

Last night I watched the Christmas classic and was reminded of a line of dialogue that nearly slips by undetected. Now, I had viewed this flick hundreds of times since childhood. I have the score on my playlist, the locations imprinted in my brain, the witty one-liners memorized. So this quiet little line took me by surprise. Also? It’s pretty damn funny.

The scene: a busy kitchen. Family eating. Pizza guy waiting on payment. Someone pipes up for Uncle Frank to contribute.

“Travelers checks!” he protests, mouth full of pizza.

THAT’S WHEN IT HAPPENS.

Mr. McAllister, under his breath, mutters, “Something tells me you’ll have the kind of Travelers Checks that don’t work in France.”

Too good, friends. Too good.

Staying Home: 11 Things We’re Doing

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Feeling anxious? Me too. These are wild times. Hang in there, I’m here for you. Also, here are 11 things we are doing to keep our sanity:
1. Lunch Doodles with famed children’s book author/illustrator Mo Willems.
2. Cincinnati Zoo’s Home Safari at 2pm CST. Yesterday we learned about porcupines.
3. Highlights Grade Level Workbooks. My kids LOVE these books and activities. Wells is especially excited that his 2nd grade workbook has cursive exercises.
4. Cut, glue, and draw on paper. I tasked the kids with creating a little garden and we taped up their creations on our front door.
5. Chores. The irony is that my kids are loving this time of the day. We change sheets, make beds, arrange stuffed animals, and make sure nothing is on the floor. I am not too strict with this; just encouraging them to take ownership of their bedroom space. Gus loves running around the house wiping off light switches and doorknobs with Clorox wipes.
6. Moments of gratitude. On St. Patrick’s Day, I read the Irish Blessing. Then we shared 3 things we were grateful for.
7. National Geographic Kid Videos: 50 birds, 50 states. The birds rap out interesting content about each of the United States in a 3-min song. We then locate the state on a map.
8. Popcorn party. Sometimes we eat popcorn while watching a movie. Sometimes we look outside to check for birds, squirrels, or dogs. Sometimes we just sit at the table and talk about our favorite flavors of popcorn.
9. Painting Rocks (if you don’t have paint, stickers are a solid substitute)
10. Dance party or a few exercises in reps of 10: 10 jumping jacks, 10 push-ups, 10 sit-ups, 10 stretches.
11. Bake. Yes, this will be messy. But letting kids crack eggs, use measuring cups, and press buttons on the oven is a culinary adventure. Follow it up by watching Kids Baking Championship (a great family show) on The Food Network.

With Happy Hearts

This pillow encapsulates our Christmas season. And our year, actually. A year with painful goodbyes and stitched up hearts. A year of warmth and growth.

I’ll remember this year as the one where Wells chimed in reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas,’ alternating pages with Fitz and I while Gus listened. I’ll recall how Fitz couldn’t find Scotch tape so he resorted to using a massive shipping tape dispenser to seal our presents. I’ll smile thinking about my daughter sporting a blue bowtie at Christmas Eve service, her little hands proudly holding a candle. I will shake my head in wonder in contemplating how I survived nearly two weeks of endless illnesses and antibiotics.

I couldn’t possibly forget my sister’s Home Alone-themed party (and neither will the internet; I’ve never received more DMs in my life).

I will smile happily thinking of every family dinner, cookie baking, cocktail toast, city excursion, sister date, twinkle lights, and seasonal feasts.

I will wince and then chuckle when I think about how I accidentally discovered a gift from Fitz that was supposed to be a surprise- a special piece of art work that captured my heart. When I hang the painting up in my living room, I know it will provide an amusing story for years to come.

It’s 58 degrees outside today. The furthest thing from a white Christmas (but how wild was our Halloween snowstorm?!). Maybe we’ll ride bikes and take the dog for an extra long stroll.

We are alive. We are breathing. We are moving forward. Later on, over this winter break, the holiday trimmings will be packed away till next year. And everything will be new once again.

Christmas & Other Things

  • New stockings to welcome the newest family member (Putter the dog)
  • Annual holiday party, with candied bacon winning again for best bite
  • A Home Alone-themed party in which Fitz dressed as Gus Polinski, polka king of the Midwest (he took clarinet lessons, people. CLARINET LESSONS)
  • Hot tea, green juice, water, repeat (also: prayers for my immune system)
  • Taking advantage of that free gift-wrapping service at Nordstrom
  • An amazing hosting gift: the Saveur cookbook! I made this ham, egg, and lemon sandwich on brioche for dinner on Tuesday.
  • No snow. Bummer.
  • Lots of twinkle lights. Delightful.
  • Frasier Fir candles
  • Carols are great but do you ever listen to Christmas jazz? (*swoons*)
  • 4th place in chess championship for Wells, ice skating lessons for Gus
  • Off Campus Writers Workshops for me, paddle season for Fitz
  • Shivers for Putt-Putt, who does NOT like the cold (she is from Mississippi)
  • Menu planning for Christmas Eve: maybe baked ziti and roasted salmon with dill sauce
  • Holiday tea with my sis, U Club with the A-team (solid city escapes)
  • Lightscape at the Botanic Garden

And a partridge in a pear tree!