Last month marked a big milestone: a decade of marriage. Here are ten random things I’m sharing in honor of the occasion:
We took our kids to Vintners Inn, the site of our ceremony and reception in 2009. They loved running through the vineyards and eating grapes right off the vine.
Each anniversary, I usually throw on my wedding dress for 5 minutes and drink my morning coffee. My kids are totally entranced by this and for a brief moment in time, I reminisce about our special day. However, this year we were traveling and I did not get to wear it. Oh well.
Fitz still has the custom green Converse he wore in the wedding with ‘FitzAndKelly’ embroidered on the side (fun fact: these were also gifts for our groomsmen). For our 10-year anniversary, I gave him a new green pair. Embroidered on the side is ‘Since 09.’
Of our attendants, the three ringbearers and one flower girl are all teenagers now (!)
It was Fitz’s idea to get married in wine country. We got engaged in Big Sur in 2008 and as we traveled through northern California in a haze of starry-eyed bliss, he turned to me and said, “Wouldn’t it be great if we got married here?”
Our wedding cake was super unique: dark chocolate made with ground up beets! It was absolutely delicious.
We honeymooned in Hawaii. I’d love to go back there with our kids- best beaches ever.
When I look back on our wedding, I’m so thankful that we were able to incorporate nature. It was really special to be outside at dusk, in a beautiful part of the world, with all of our friends and family. And thankfully, Mother Nature cooperated! It was a perfect 75 degrees.
To this day, I’ve never seen so many people simultaneously cry in my entire life as they did when my dad gave a speech at our reception.
Though a wedding is a very special day, I am most proud of the life that Fitz and I have created together over these ten years.
Crack your knuckles and do some light stretching because the dynamic, articulate, fun, and spirited woman you’re about to meet will have you laughing so hard that you’ll mildly choke on that glass of wine paired with Oreos (no judgment; it’s nice to eat allllll the treats once kids go to bed).
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the vivacious Anna Lane. She’s a hybrid of former actress/ stellar comedian/ humor writer who serves as the Los Angeles Editor of StrollerTrafficandthe voice behind Misadventures in Motherhood. And yes, her California-sunkissed blonde hair and radiant smile is the stuff of dreams but that is besides the point.
Now that your appetizer is over let’s shimmy right along to the main course.
1. What do you write and what are you reading?
I like to say that I write anything – as long as I’m being paid for it! Mostly I write a blog, Misadventures in Motherhood, and I’m the LA Editor for StrollerTraffic. I freelance for a living, so I’ve done everything from punching up scripts to ghostwriting a TED talk. I’m currently reading A Little Life. It’s beautiful, yet also disturbing, especially if one is a parent.
2. You’re a former actress and stand-up comedian. When did you recognize that you had a way with humor?
I’ve always been described as “quirky” so stand-up comedy really came about when I was frustrated with acting (or, more correctly NOT acting) and I needed a creative outlet. I was terrible at first, as are most people, and it takes quite a few years to learn how to write a great joke, but I found stand-up to be so much more fulfilling than acting. Once I learned to write jokes and realized how good I was at doing so, humor writing was a natural progression. I’m sure there are people who find my sarcasm about parenting off putting, but you can’t please everyone, and I’m fine with that.
3. You throw the door open on deeply personal topics. How do you decide the right level of candor when you write?
Interestingly enough, I’m actually a very private person. The thing that I love about blogging is that I choose how much to share and how much not to share. I try to be very careful and respectful of my kids and my spouse and to not reveal things that are incredibly embarrassing. That being said, I think it’s important to discuss the realities of birth and marriage and sex after kids. Women should be fully informed that their lady parts will NEVER be the same after giving birth, and that even if they can fit into their pre-baby clothes they aren’t going to look good on a body that’s carried, birthed and fed a child or three.
4. Who are your mentors?
When I was doing stand-up I worked with Wendy Liebman who is the most incredible woman. She’s a talented writer, a warm and caring person, and an amazing wife and step-mom. She’s truly the type of woman that has me asking, “How does she do it?” I’m also really inspired by the ladies at StrollerTraffic, because they are all Moms who are writers, and it’s pretty awesome to have a job where your colleagues understand if you have a sick kid. My blogger crush is Ilana Wiles from Mommy Shorts – I’m constantly amazed at the amount of content she manages to generate and how she keeps her blog fresh and funny. Plus I would kill for her traffic and sponsors!!!
5. What does rejection look like?
Haha – the entirety of my adolescence and acting career! My therapist, however, has probably paid her mortgage thanks to all of the sessions we’ve logged due to my rejections. Look, it’s difficult to not take rejection personally especially when you do a creative job that comes so much from your heart and soul. It sucks. I’ve found as I’ve gotten older and more confident in my abilities as a writer that I’m not quite as bothered by people telling me “no thanks” anymore.
6. Talk to me about writing sex scenes. I think as a society we have a very unrealistic idea of what sex is “supposed” to look like. The reality is that after ten years of marriage and two kids you’re just trying to stay awake long enough to do the deed.
7. Who do you love and how does that sneak into your writing?
I love my kids so much, and I’m grateful to them for sending me down the path of being a writer. If I hadn’t needed a creative outlet after my son’s birth, I would never have started blogging, and my blog is the way I got all of my other jobs! Sometimes I think about shutting down my blog, and I just can’t do it, because it’s sort of The Little Engine that Could, slowly trudging up the big mountain and making it to the top when no one thought it would happen.
8. Your Instagram account (@TheAnnaLane) is peppered with a hilarious stream of motherhood memes. Tell me more about it.
I have to give credit for the memes to an old stand-up colleague, actually. I was putting funny jokes on Facebook and Twitter and he emailed me and said that I should turn them into memes, and suggested I use my profile photo as the background. I had NO IDEA how to make a meme, and he actually walked me through how to do it. I’m so thankful that he did that, because it’s really helped with my branding, which I was struggling with on Instagram’s visual platform. I think people don’t often read the captions, so the memes are a way for me to tell my parenting jokes in the photo.
9. What has been your greatest lesson with being a freelance writer?
That my work is worth GOOD money. I’m still learning this lesson, especially when it comes to my blog and sponsored content. Writing is a talent and a skill. Writers are necessary, and it’s important to understand your value. That being said, when you first start out you may have to take a couple crap jobs to get established and build your resume, but you need to understand when that’s no longer appropriate. Ask for what you’re worth, you might be pleasantly surprised at people’s reactions.
10. Wildest dream you have for yourself?
To turn my blog into a TV script, sell it, and write on the show. I should have time to write that script in about 18 years when my kids leave for college…
11. Tell me a story about a story:
I’m not even sure what you’re asking here, but I’m almost positive that the writers from Sex and the City based the baby gherkin storyline on me. I dated a guy in college when I was living in New York and he had the tiniest dick ever, and I was in the bathroom at a club, crying in a stall and complaining about it to my friends and how there was no way I could continue to date him. Two years later that whole scene showed up in SATC practically verbatim. The guy was a total douche who still lived with his parents at age 33 and not worth my time or my bedroom skillz, but hindsight is always 20/20. I comfort myself by reminding myself that he’s enjoying a lifetime of women dumping him because his penis is too small, so there’s that.
Favorite snack? Chocolate covered pretzels are my undoing.
On a kidless day, what are you doing? Yoga, mani/pedi, reading Domino, and probably day drinking with a girlfriend.